When I'm alone it's the same old story you've all heard before, antique music whispering sounds scraped from the duties that haven't been fulfilled, that wouldn't bring happiness anyway, nor content, at least content...
My sorrow isn't clear, but it weakens me every time that I am alone, so what am I really.. but a pile of dust being carried away by the wind of.. well I don't know what wind it is but it certainly isn't one of growth. Maybe it's change, maybe this is how change occurs when you don't decide to just run away to make it happen, this must be change done by standing still.
I'm uncertain, I have anxiety attacks, rarely but they exist, the heaviness feeling has now moved from my heart to my brain and its malfunction has not delayed its show. Synapses don't function normally anymore, or maybe the problem is more simple than I feel it or see it.
From the people that I've asked none could give me an answer to all of this, and as usual I may have to do it on my own. My ambition and will are as unstable as the sea. I don't know what to do so I do little for myself and that has gone well for me so far. I would considerably appreciate that my ability to cry would return but alas it has forsaken me as well so I am left with no means of relief thus bringing me to a stand-still by all means.
As I walk down the street to see to the next task of my life I don't feel any content or excitement, everything became dull at some point and I'm starting to want to stay on the safe-side, being drawn to it more and more as this situation goes on. I am unfair because of this to some.
Not feeling the good, not having strengt, my only reason of getting out of bed in the morning is the thought that optimism is the way out and that I have to put it into action.
Gata, haide ca am de invatat la un examen. Asta nu inseamna ca uit de problema, inseamna doar ca-mi va bate-n geam mai tarziu. Keep it real, don't take it too serious, relax = the impossible.
