35 de grade seara si tot nimic!

I'm so bored... oh, so bored. Parca m-as indragosti de plictiseala... da, ar merge ca idee...

Cum scrie Bacovia intr-una din poeziile sale pline de romantism, "sunt cadavre prin oras, iubito". Cam asta e adevarul, toata lumea e molesita, toata lumea e atent planificata, toti au agende, programe incarcate cu aer greu de respirat, nici ei nu au habar exact ce fac. Fac planuri, ca toata lumea, merg inainte, dar pana cand? Pana cand sa ramai in moartea aceea, pana cand sa ii tragi si pe ceilalti dupa tine, pana cand...

Acesta este punctul fara de intoarcere, momentul in care renunti la restul pentru a te pastra pe tine si stii ce se va intampla? Vor vrea sa puna mana pe tine, vor vrea sa se rasteasca la tine si sa iti spuna ca gresesti, si-ti vor repeta asta pana te vei satura, iar atunci, copile, atunci vei simti o nevoie disperata de a te refugia in bratele renuntarii, de a da drumul stalpului de sustinere de care te agatasesi atat de ferm in mijlocul furtunii, stalp ce esti chiar tu, de a te lasa dus de val sa plutesti sa nu te mai gadesti la toate acele detalii dureroase din fiecare zi, detalii ce, pana la urma, iti asigura independenta si te tin in viata. Dar ce credeai ca inseamna sa ai grija de tine insuti? Sa-ti gatesti si sa faci curatenie? Aia orice dobitoc poate face, sa puna mana pe matura si sa imprastie praful prin casa. Ai idee cate nevoi ai de fapt? La un moment dat sunt coplesitoare si nu-ti mai sta capul decat la asta si sunt detalii, si ai nevoie de spatiu si timp, dar nimeni nu ti-l acorda fiindca ei deja si-au pus nevoile la o parte, se multumesc cu stadiul lesinat al lucrurilor, ei deja ... au dat drumul stalpului ... si nu le mai pasa decat ca merg inainte, barfesc si se lafaie in stagnare. E bine, e bine asa.

Da' totusi hai sa n-o lasam asa, hai sa facem ceva pentru noi, apoi pentru oamenii din jurul nostru, apoi pentru societate, daca ceea ce ne inconjoara acum se mai poate numi societate asa cum a fost ea definita si conceputa de la inceput. Nu mai urma pretentiile altora, te rog eu...

And then she ruled the night.

This crammy little ol' kitchen is big enough, we didn't have to spend too much time and I just want to not know or know better, I can't decide, I can't believe it, sometimes I just don't want to see, it's easier and I don't really know if I should do something or just let time decide.


It should be time to take on some responsibilities and act as a consequence, but then again I could just sleep it over. Can I be held responsible for the people that I meet? Can I be asked to take care of each and every one of them? To be fair is not the easiest thing in the world, living a fairly honorable life isn't either. I would totally like to be honest to everybody but once more not a lot of people understand things the way I do. I can't be completely myself with you for that would mean over-exposure and delusions, my honesty is my death at times and at least I had the guts to say it. Sometimes you can't even be sure as to whether say something or just drop it dead, if there is any use in complicate your very own existence for the sake of honesty, morals, principles. That must be the secret to all this for when we will figure this one out we will truly rule our lives. Until then it's just a matter of the one we have in front of us.


I'd give all my secrets away but then again wouldn't you? I have nothing to give, I want nothing from nobody just understanding and to not be judged. Do not complicate what is yet so simple, do not fear the consequences of what has not yet happened, do not make the mistake of falling into fantasy when the world is happening around you, avoid being drawn into the whirl of the moment and keep a steady head for everything that comes into your life as to not lose the big picture.