"Heroes are the ones that do the right thing, at the right time, no matter the consequences." a status on the messenger once wrote.
Am I a hero then? Have I done the right thing at the right time being prepared to bare the consequences? I left you... and I sometimes feel sorry... I sometimes hurt and sometimes feel grief... and maybe I feel guilty as well. You needed me there, didn't you? You thought that you could get back all the time that we didn't spend together in the past. You thought wrong.
Now I'm here, in a different city, having signed my first work contract, risking my tomorrow's safety and sureness. I... I miss you sometimes... and I sometimes I just think about how it would have been if I were still there, still listening and fulfilling your commands, desires, requests... if I may call them so. How would it have been if I were to sacrifice myself for the sake of your heart, even if I were to lose my own at some point, even if I were to become dull at some point, even if I were to hear at the end of a day that what I did wasn't good enough... You see, I chose to not let myself get there, to not put my heart in a freezer for you. Maybe you would have deserved such a sacrifice from me, you worked hard for it as a mother... have you considered giving up? Giving me up? You should have. Time waits for no one, and you're no exception.
So am I a hero? Can I be considered one to have done the right thing? Have you learned something about me from this? Will you ever be proud of what you've raised? I'm proud of myself, you know....
I feel sorry for you, I'd feel sorry for me too in that situation, but as an interesting song said once "if you don't like your life, it's your fault" and I must say... I kind of agree with it.
Unele momente in viata parca iti umbresc linistea, iar altele desi sunt facute pentru a te ingropa in disperare, criza de timp, lucruri marunte, dar esentiale, de facut, griji, stress, nu fac decit sa-ti lumineze calea si sa iti arate incotro trebuie s-o apuci. Cind vine momentul sa pleci pentru prima data de acasa pentru a-ti construi o viata unde crezi ca vei fi mai multumit, te uiti totusi ce lasi in urma ta. Plinsete, dureri, controverse, certuri, situatii neplacute... dar si prieteni, momente frumoase, in care te-ai simtit in siguranta, familia care de bine de rau ti-a facut un ceai cind ai fost racit si ti-a suportat crizele cind ai trecut prin momente de indoiala fata de tine insuti sau fata de toti cei pe care ai crezut ca ii cunosti si te-au invatat pina la urma cum sa nu mai ai incredere in vorbe, lasi in urma liceul, scoala generala, parcurile in care te-ai plimbat sau ai chiulit, barurile in care te-ai plimbat nopti la rind, rind pe rind, in fiecare weekend, prietenii de familie care ti-au dat o piine cind n-ai avut, computerul pe care ai facut nopti albe doar ca sa vorbesti cu anumite persoane ce ti-a facut placere...Vine acel moment in viata cind iti iei amintirile intr-o cutie memorabila, trei haine intr-o valiza, speranta in buzunare si pur si simplu pleci. Asa.
"There she is, standing in front of me with her soul naked, bared through her glistering chocolate eyes. And there she goes, she dances the world away, she sings with her hands and draws with her lips the notes of my world. Swinging from side to side, she lives... oh, man, does she live! Like I could never live, she makes the Air and Fire vibrate, makes the Water listen to her Soul command, she could decompose your personality, your principles, in a split second and rebuild you in the next.
Man, she lives... like I could only learn to in a thousand lives...
Don't wish to posses her, you don't stand a chance, try just to understand and maybe you'll get a shot at this miracle, maybe you'll get a chance to live.
Breathe... "
he said, and then walked his fears to the door and wished them a safe trip.
