Am I a hero then? Have I done the right thing at the right time being prepared to bare the consequences? I left you... and I sometimes feel sorry... I sometimes hurt and sometimes feel grief... and maybe I feel guilty as well. You needed me there, didn't you? You thought that you could get back all the time that we didn't spend together in the past. You thought wrong.
Now I'm here, in a different city, having signed my first work contract, risking my tomorrow's safety and sureness. I... I miss you sometimes... and I sometimes I just think about how it would have been if I were still there, still listening and fulfilling your commands, desires, requests... if I may call them so. How would it have been if I were to sacrifice myself for the sake of your heart, even if I were to lose my own at some point, even if I were to become dull at some point, even if I were to hear at the end of a day that what I did wasn't good enough... You see, I chose to not let myself get there, to not put my heart in a freezer for you. Maybe you would have deserved such a sacrifice from me, you worked hard for it as a mother... have you considered giving up? Giving me up? You should have. Time waits for no one, and you're no exception.
So am I a hero? Can I be considered one to have done the right thing? Have you learned something about me from this? Will you ever be proud of what you've raised? I'm proud of myself, you know....
I feel sorry for you, I'd feel sorry for me too in that situation, but as an interesting song said once "if you don't like your life, it's your fault" and I must say... I kind of agree with it.
No comments:
Post a Comment